You should get down on your knees every day and thank whichever god you believe in for bringing the iPhone into your hands. Never before has remote foreplay been so easy, making the sexy selfie a standard in hormone-fueled texting. However, not unlike celebrated photographers in the field, mediocrity should not be tolerated. Do you think a National Geographic photographer has ever turned in a badly cropped, out-of-focus picture of an eagle? No way.
I Can’t Take a Cute Nude to Save My Life, so I Asked Boudoir Photographers for Help
How to Take Nudes — 5 Steps for the Best Picture
In many areas, I crave consistency. I like when the subway comes on time and how my hair will be reliably perfect on the third day since my last wash. Sometimes the lighting is dim or the camera lens on my phone is dirty. Other times, I can't convince my face and body to do something sexy at the same time. The result is always a weirdly cropped, uncomfortable-looking photo that I'd rather delete than send to anyone else. And that sort of defeats the purpose of a nude selfie—at least, the ones I'm taking. Instead of continuing to suffer from my chronic inability to take a hot nude, I turned to the experts: three New York City-area boudoir photographers who set, light, and shoot sexy photos as their actual jobs.
Time to Take Some Nudes
Wait a minute! Who is leaking MY nude photos! Mine are super good! Well, if they end up in your hands, have fun!
VICE Media makes a small commission on products linked in this article. Taking a good naked photo is harder than it looks, even if professionals Instagram influencers, sex workers, and Reddit models make it look easy. Grabbing your smartphone and pointing it at yourself isn't going to give you good results—you're going to need to buy some better stuff.